You obviously have two good hands. What do you need us for?

Dear Ms. Meridith Mendia,

Thank you for your recent spam email. You know, the one informing us that “the ancient secret of pleasing a woman 10 times a day has been discovered.” We were wondering if you also discovered the ancient secret of making a day last 13 months. That would be helpful because today we have to do some work and go to the Key Food and mail some bills. So there might not be enough hours in the day to please her 10 times. But if we should ever move to a city constructed entirely of water beds where women crave manual and oral stimulation around the clock, we will certainly be in touch.

Sincerely,

Afflictor