President Barack Obama

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Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour: Desperate to be President. (Image by George Armstrong.)

Economist Tyler Cowen analyzes Tuesday’s election results pretty well on his blog. An excerpt:

“Just 32% of the Tea Party candidates won; admittedly that figure should be adjusted by the rate of incumbency (a lot of Tea Party candidates were challengers).  In any case, there was not a Tea Party tidal wave.  Sarah Palin as nominee is up a few points on InTrade.com, although I do not see why.  Haley Barbour is also up and Chris Christie is down considerably (why?).  Given that the Democrats did better than expected in the Senate, Obama’s reelection chances look better now than they did a week ago.  The Republican strategy is not dominating in broad constituency, MSM-reported, ‘lots of scrutiny’ races, even with an abysmal economy and a not so popular health care bill.  My mental model of Obama is that he will cut deals with the Republicans, even on (mostly) their terms, if indeed any deal is on the table.  I would be pleased if critics of the Obama presidency would indicate their managerial background and expertise, yet few do.  How many of them could manage a team of ten people with any success?”

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President Obama: Just try to be a better dad than Michael Lohan.

President Obama: Our children don’t need us to be superheroes.

Decoder: But perhaps one of you dads is a superhero. For instance, maybe you’re Aquaman. If you are, could you do me a favor and swim to the Gulf of Mexico and stop that fucking oil spill? That would be cool. We’ll make sure your kids are fine until you return.

President Obama: But we also know what too many fathers being absent means.

Decoder: In my case, it meant that I would go to Harvard Law School, become a best-selling author, a Senator and the President of the most powerful country on the planet.

President Obama: [Children] don’t need us to be perfect. They do need us to be present.

Lindsay's doing great. (Image by Toglenn.)

Decoder: Just stand there like a block of wood. Seriously. No one will care. Remember: You’re not a mom, you’re a dad. The bar is set really low.

President Obama: They need us to show up and give it our best shot.

Decoder: I’m not kidding. They know you’re a screw-up. They’ve totally figured out your bullshit. Just go through the motions and that’s enough.

President Obama: We all have to remember being a father is not just an obligation and a responsibility.

Decoder: It’s also a great tax deduction. And it’s an opportunity to have small people bring you beers and help you pick lottery numbers.

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Angelina is starting to seem relatively well-adjusted. (Photo by Kristin Dos Santos.)

Jon Voight: Every loving American for peace and truth and the security of our nation must come out and join the Tea Parties in their states.

Decoder: Or they could stay home and watch the 2004 family comedy Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 on DVD. I play “Kane” and Scott Baio does some of his finest work yet.

Jon Voight: President Obama uses his aggression and arrogance for his own agenda, against the will of the American people when he should be using his will and aggression against our enemies.

Decoder: Al Qaeda and the Taliban might disagree.

Jon Voight: To think that this once great nation will be a third world country.

Decoder: A third-world country with iPads, frappacinos and high-speed internet access.

Jon Voight: Now the lie goes very deep and President Obama has been cleverly trained in the Alinsky method and it would be very important that every American knows what that method is. It is a socialistic, Marxist teaching and with it, little by little, he rapes this nation.

Decoder: Though I might be confusing him with Ben Roethlisberger. I know the charges were dropped, but when two different women have accused you of rape, wow, what’s going on there, Ben?

Jon Voight: The world looked up to us as a symbol of hope and prosperity now wonders what will become of the entire world if America is losing its power.

Decoder: Actually, people around the world have a much higher opinion of America since Obama became President. And applications for citizenship don’t seem to be down.

Jon Voight: The American people who understand exactly what is taking place have come together in the thousands, vowing to try to stay together as a unit of love and freedom for all men and women, from all walks of life.

Decoder: But really only some white people with a shaky grasp of history and the innate ability to blame their problems and insecurities on others.

Jon Voight: The opposition will continue their tactics.

Decoder: Running for office in free elections, thinking they should be able to govern if they get the most votes.

Jon Voight: They will lie and plant their own bullies amongst us.

Decoder: Strangely, those bullies will fit in seamlessly with many actual Tea Party members.

Jon Voight: Let us all stay in God’s light.

Decoder: Though you should remember to wear sunblock and a hat if you’re going to stay in God’s light for longer than 20 minutes. Sure, your body needs to produce Vitamin D, but you don’t want skin cancer, either.

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