Mitch McConnell

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Sarah Palin: Recently outwitted by a salmon. (Image byTherealbs2002.)

Sarah Palin: You don’t take money from the private sector and grow government with it and that’s exactly what Obama has in mind with this expiration of Bush tax cuts proposal of his. His commitment to let previous tax cuts expire will lead to even fewer job opportunities for Americans.

Decoder: If these tax cuts for the wealthy, which have been around for nearly ten years, are so good at creating jobs, why has job creation declined during that time? Before they existed, during the Clinton years, job creation was much better.

Sarah Palin: [Letting the Bush tax cuts expire] is going to result in the largest tax increase in U.S. history and again it’s idiotic and my palm isn’t large enough to write all my notes down on what this tax increase will result in. [I’ve written on my hand that it will raise taxes] 3.8 trillion over the next ten years so I didn’t say 3.7 trillion and get dinged by the liberals saying I didn’t know what I was talking about.

Decoder: Of course, the liberals could say that I’m a lying, resentment-filled jackass who has a cheat sheet written on her hand like a small child.

Sarah Palin: [The more] job creators are taxed, the fewer dollars they have to reinvest in their own businesses and hire more people the worse it is for more Americans.

Decoder: Most of the people who will lose these tax cuts for the wealthy aren’t job creators, they’re bankers and brokers. If you give bankers and brokers extra spending money, most of the jobs they will create are in the cocaine and prostitution sectors.

Bush tax cuts: Creating jobs. (Image by Tomas Castelazo.)

John McCain: I think the worst thing we can do to the American people during these tough economic times is raise taxes which is what the effect of the expiration of the Bush tax cuts would be.

Decoder: But this is what I said about these same Bush tax cuts in 2001: “I cannot in good conscience support a tax cut in which so many of the benefits go to the most fortunate among us at the expense of middle-class Americans who need tax relief.”

Senator Mitch MocConnell: The only way you narrow the deficit is to get the private sector moving again.

Decoder: Or you could let the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy expire. That would reduce the deficit by roughly 30%. That would work, too.

Rep. John Boehner: The only way we’re going to get our economy going again and solve our budget problems is to get the economy moving.

Decoder: I was supposed to say the same thing as Mitch McConnell, but I’m such a moron I can’t even deliver rehearsed lines.

Rep. John Boehner: What we have to do is we have to get our arms around the spending spree that’s going on in Washington, D.C.

Decoder: Like, for instance, tax cuts for wealthy people.

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