Larry Ellison

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Larry Ellison is out at Oracle, but he intends to never quit Lanai, the Hawaiian island the multibillionaire purchased for relative pocket change ($300 million) in 2012. It was a takeover with no hostility, as the locals loved Larry. The place has a peculiar history, having, in its pre-Ellison incarnations, been passed from faux Mormons to the Dole pineapple company to another billionaire benefactor, eventually landing in a state of disrepair during the aughts. Ellison is in the process of remaking it into a totally green haven with massive environmentally friendly development, but his control over the potential paradise and its economy is eye-popping, even if many of the inhabitants welcome the ambitious, top-down transformation. From an article about the acquisition by Jon Mooallem of New York Times Magazine:

“Ninety seven percent of Lanai may be a lot of Lanai, but it’s a tiny part of Ellison’s overall empire. Ellison, who stepped down as C.E.O. of Oracle on Sept. 18, is estimated to be worth $46 billion. He made an estimated $78.4 million last year, or about $38,000 an hour. He owns a tremendous amount of stuff — cars, boats, real estate, Japanese antiquities, the BPN Paribas Open tennis tournament, an America’s Cup sailing team, one of Bono’s guitars — and has a reputation for intensity and excess. Recently, The Wall Street Journal reported that when Ellison has played basketball on the courts on his yachts, he has positioned ‘someone in a powerboat following the yacht to retrieve balls that go overboard.’ One biographer called him ‘a modern-day Genghis Khan.’

At a public meeting on Lanai last year, an Ellison representative explained that his boss wasn’t drawn to the island by the potential for profits but by the potential for a great accomplishment — the satisfaction one day of having made the place work. For Ellison, it seemed, Lanai was less like an investment than like a classic car, up on blocks in the middle of the Pacific, that he had become obsessed with restoring. He wants to transform it into a premier tourist destination and what he has called ‘the first economically viable, 100 percent green community’: an innovative, self-sufficient dreamscape of renewable energy, electric cars and sustainable agriculture.

Ellison has explained that Lanai feels to him like ‘this really cool 21st-century engineering project’ — and so far, his approach, which seems steeped in the ethos of Silicon Valley, has boiled down to rooting out the many inefficiencies of daily life on Lanai and replacing them with a single, elegantly designed system. It’s the sort of sweeping challenge that engineering types get giddy over: a full-scale model. Of course, there are actual people living inside Ellison’s engineering project — a community being hit by an unimaginable wave of wealth. But unlike all the more familiar versions of that story, Lanai isn’t being remade by some vague socioeconomic energy you can only gesture at with words like ‘techies’ or ‘hipsters’ or ‘Wall Street’ but by one guy, whose name everyone knows, in a room somewhere, whiteboarding out the whole project.

[Documentarian Henry] Jolicoeur seemed to understand the precariousness that power imbalance created: the staggering responsibility, the incomprehensible control.”

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The 1980s was a particularly jingoistic and muscle-flexing time in America, and for awhile we were encouraged to care about our place among the world’s yacht racers. The original Tan Mom, Dennis Conner, who seemed to have nothing better to do with his time, led us to un-classy prominence. Larry Ellison, who has plenty of better things to do, is struggling to put us back there, if in a seemlier manner. From “The Peacock and the Raven,” Katie Baker’s Grantland article about Ellison’s embattled re-engineering of a race that is so important to so few:

“Asking a random San Franciscan about the America’s Cup is like asking a tea partyer about death panels. The former group can be reliably counted upon to mutter something about ‘a bunch of billionaires with their toys’ in the same way that the latter group is sure to unfurl their Don’t Tread on Me flags at the slightest provocation. That, and the name ‘Larry Ellison’ is pronounced with the same crazy-eyed venom as ‘NOBAMA.’

You can’t really blame them. They were suspicious a few years ago when they kept hearing wild promises being thrown around about revenues and hotel room projections and global melting pots and vague reassurances that taxpayers would be reimbursed by private donors. (According to estimates, the city of San Francisco remains about $4 million in the hole. Also, that article includes the city supervisor calling the race ‘3 billionaires in a tub.’ DRINK!) They were confused by the haphazard marketing around the city this summer, never knowing which races actually constituted the America’s Cup. They either live in the Marina, in which case any hubbub in the neighborhood is a hassle, or they don’t, in which case they probably brag about how they never go there.

They’ve seen one bit of bad news after another, like the fact that only three syndicates ultimately coordinated Cup challenges (as opposed to the ’14 teams, 16 teams’ Ellison envisioned) because they found the boats too dangerous and/or too costly, or that one of those three syndicates, Artemis Racing, disastrously capsized during a training run in May. It was the second AC72 capsize in seven months — Oracle had flipped in October — but with far graver consequences: Adored 36-year-old crew member and father of two young sons Andrew Simpson was killed.

In an interview with Charlie Rose, Ellison called Simpson’s death a ‘freak accident,’ but you could tell he was rattled.”

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Please come to the crappy Knicks, LeBron. Otherwise, we will suck forever. (Photo by Keith Allison.)

Bill Simmons is the preeminent national sports columnist of the day, combining the profane passion of a rabid fan with the objective, gimlet-eyed analysis of the Freakonomics guys. In his recent column on ESPN, “A Fan-Friendly Solution to Fix the NBA,” Simmons analyzes the very troubled league, which Commisioner David Stern has acknowledged will lose $400 million this year. (Here’s one way to start fixing the NBA: Stern, who has done an absolutely atrocious job for the past decade, needs to be replaced.)

In one passage, Simmons gets to the heart of why so few deep-pocketed Americans are willing to buy a professional basketball franchise these days. An excerpt:

“For instance, when I was in Dallas for All-Star Weekend, I asked an extremely wealthy person the following question: ‘Why haven’t you bought an NBA team?’

His answer: ‘Because they’re still overvalued. Anyone who buys in right now is doing it for ego only. That’s why the league grabbed the Russian’s [Mikhail Prokhorov’s] money [for the New Jersey Nets] so quickly. He has a big ego and deep pockets, and he didn’t know any better. He just wanted in. The pool of American buyers who fit that mold has dwindled. Look at [Oracle CEO] Larry Ellison. Five years ago, he would have jumped on the Warriors like Cuban jumped on the Mavericks. Now he’s being much more cautious. He doesn’t think they’re worth more than $325 [million] and they aren’t. Not with the current revenue system, not without a new arena, and not with a lockout coming. It’s a dumb investment.'”

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