Jay J. Armes

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I would guess that most people know Jay J. Armes as an action figure that has removable upper limbs which can be replaced with all sorts of tools and weapons. But he’s a real man, one who lost his arms in a childhood accident and went on to become a successful American detective with an amazing publicist. The private eye was the main guest on a 1975 installment of Geraldo Rivera’s talk show, Good Night America. Only the classy Geraldo would point out how ironic it was that a guy whose surname was “Armes” had his arms blown off. Jerry Fucking Rivers! 

Footage of a Central Park concert organized by John Lennon is among the other highlights. Watch it here.

The opening of Anthony K. Roberts’ 1975 People article about Armes, which described him as “recently divorced,” which apparently was not true:

Barnaby Jones is a little long in the tooth and Cannon has that belly to contend with. But when it comes to overcoming handicaps, they are pikers compared to a real-life private detective from El Paso who, despite the lack of both arms, commands million-dollar fees, owns and pilots two jet helicopters, is a black belt karate expert, tools around in a Rolls-Royce, and has built into his artificial right arm a revolver that fires a .22 magnum shell. His wildly improbable name: Jay J. Armes.

Not surprisingly, a pilot is being made for a possible CBS series based on the remarkable Mr. Armes (yes, his name is pronounced “arms”). The scriptwriter should have no trouble finding material. Maintaining offices around the world which employ 2,400 people, Armes has a list of clients that includes politicians, royalty and show business celebrities such as Elizabeth Taylor, Elvis Presley, Marlon Brando and Yoko Ono. They come to Armes, 42, he unabashedly claims, because he is “the best.” And his handicap? “I never think about it,” he shrugs. “Limits are only put on people by themselves.”

Armes has been living by that philosophy since a friend brought him a package one summer when he was 12. Unknown to Armes, the box contained railroad dynamite charges that exploded when Armes broke the seal. The friend escaped injury. But when Jay picked himself up 20 feet away, there was only torn flesh and bits of bone hanging from the stumps of his arms.

Jay was told by doctors that he would have to remain in the hospital six months before he could begin to learn how to use his two hook-like artificial limbs. Instead of waiting, Armes insisted on the limbs immediately. He was released after 22 days.

Armes taught himself to write all over again—”I had no excuse to be sloppy”—and returned to public school in the fall. Although students and teachers went out of their way to help “with pity in their eyes,” Armes insisted on doing everything himself. At one point he dripped a pool of blood on the floor while trying to write on the blackboard with his new arms. In high school he competed in sports and won letters in track, football and baseball.•

 

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