Harry Reid

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Decoder: Recent Comments By Nevada GOP Senate Candidate Sharron Angle

August 5, 2010 in Humor, Politics | Permalink

Sharron Angle: Photo fuzzy, as is her reasoning. (Image by Steve Wainstead.)

Sharron Angle: We need people to really stand for faith and trust, not hope and change.

Decoder: By telling people to not vote for change, I seem to be encouraging them to support my opponent, the incumbent Harry Reid. That can’t be good for me.

Sharron Angle: Harry Reid is a consummate politician.

Decoder: Unlike me. I’m a total stumblefuck.

Sharron Angle: And these programs that you mentioned–that Obama has going with Reid and Pelosi pushing them forward–are all entitlement programs built to make government our God. And that’s really what’s happening in this country is a violation of the First Commandment.

Decoder: Why wait to see if I’m elected before blurring the line between church and state?

Sharron Angle: I know people are very frightened about what’s going on in this country.

Decoder: Most of them are frightened of me.

Sharron Angle: Harry Reid’s plan to save the Nevada economy is coked-up stimulus monkeys.

Decoder: I’m trying to twist a legitimate university drug-research project that involves monkeys into a scandal for my political gain. According to the Washington Post: “Bonnie Davis, a spokeswoman for The Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, told ABC the ‘small grant has helped protect very important research that will have significant impact on public health in regards to cocaine addiction and the issue of relapse.'”

Please do not stop your cocaine research. I love science so very much. (Image by Jorge Perez.)

Sharron Angle: [Harry Reid] reinvents himself at each one of his elections.

Decoder: This time he’s running as the person who’s not the crazy lady.

Sharron Angle: We know that once we have a majority that are dependent upon the government, we will lose our freedom.

Decoder: But think of all the extra time we’ll have. We won’t have to rush around when buying cocaine for our monkeys.

Sharron Angle: We need to have the press be our friend. We want them to ask the questions we want to answer so that they report the news the way we want it to be reported.

Decoder: The press will probably never be my friend, but Harry Reid seems to like me more every time I open my mouth.

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Decoder: Karl Rove’s Comments On Fox News And Other Venues

March 15, 2010 in Humor, Politics | Permalink

It appears that Butterbean has written a book.

Karl Rove: But if [Obama] passes this health care reform, I think [the Democrats] lose the House of Representatives this fall.

Decoder: And I am something of an expert on how lose the House of Representatives.

Karl Rove: Embedded in that view is the belief that the American people can be easily manipulated by those kind of [smear] tactics. And frankly, I got greater respect for the voter than that.

Decoder: My career has proven time and again that I have zero respect for voters. I used to pander to the Christian conservative base even though I’m agnostic.

Karl Rove: If you’re going to attack somebody, it has to be seen as fair and appropriate and relevant and credible.

Decoder: I steadfastly defend the TV commercials that were used against former Georgia Senator Max Cleland, the ones that had footage of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden and claimed Cleland didn’t have the courage to lead. You know, the Max Cleland who lost three limbs while fighting for our country in Vietnam, while I was doing everything possible to avoid the draft.

Karl Rove: Oh, I think the world of [Colin Powell]. I think he is a great leader and I think he was a terrific secretary of state. But I did get under his skin.

Decoder: He’s apparently allergic to doughy, lying pricks.

Karl Rove: Harry Reid and I share a common Nevada root. I tried to develop a cordial relationship with him but he was, as you will see in episodes in the book, breathtakingly political in his approach to virtually everything and unreliable even when he was with you.

Decoder: He’s almost as partisan as I am. I hate people like that.

Karl Rove: [Waterboarding] is not torture. But reasonable people can disagree.

Decoder: But if they do, I will torture them.

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