Billy Eichner

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It’s been a tough stretch at CNN: bad ratings, awful reporting about the Boston Marathon bombing and new network president Jeff Zucker saying that he wants to “broaden the definition of news,” while adding a lot of entertainment shows to the schedule. But at least CNN has an exciting new correspondent.

Hi, I'm Billy Eichner, from Billy on the Street, reporting from Syria for CNN.

I’m Billy Eichner, from Billy on the Street, reporting from outside the former American Embassy in Syria for CNN.

Assad is going to murder you, gays!

Assad is going to murder you, you gays!

The American homosexual is correct.

The American homosexual is correct.

For a dollar, who is

For a dollar, who has had more work done, Joan Rivers or Sarah Palin?

My children have died from typhoid and my husband was boiled in acid.

My children have died from a lack of potable water and my husband was boiled in acid.

Wrong, you moron. It was Sarah Palin.

Wrong, you moron. It was Sarah Palin.

For a dollar, what is the best way to destroy a hostage's genitals, ball-peen hammer or a pair of rusty pliers?

For a dollar, the best way to wreck a political prisoner’s genitals is by using a ball-peen hammer or rusty pliers?

I have been using a ball-peen hammer. but these rusty pliers sound interesting.

I have been using a ball-peen hammer. but these rusty pliers sound interesting.

That's right. You win a dollar.

Correct!. You win a dollar!

The American homosexual is correct.

Great. In Syria these days, a dollar will buy many pairs of rusty pliers.

Assad is going to murder you, gays!

Assad is going to murder you, you gays!

Jeff Zucker: I'm just trying to broaden the definition of what news is.

Jeff Zucker: I’m just trying to broaden the definition of news.

Rupert: Good job, Jeff.

Rupert: Good job, Jeff.

More fake crap that seemed funny at the time:

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