This week, Sarah Palin was ticketed for driving 63 in a 45mph zone. She said afterwards, “I wasn’t speeding, I was qualifying,” in a reference to race-car drivers. She’ll have her day in court.
Why would you say, “I’m wasn’t speeding, I was qualifying”? That’s what a bratty 16-year-old with a learner’s permit might say. You’re 50, Grandma.
Because I’m a rebel like the Founding Fathers. Just look at the size of my soda.
I find you guilty of being a dipshit. You’ll do community service cleaning up highway trash.
I don’t have time for that. I’ll be busy impeaching Obama.
- Old Print Articles: Wernher von Braun plans to send 50 astronauts to Mars (1951) + William Fox opens an all-news theater (1929) + Reuben Jasper Spaulding patented a gorgeous, useless flying machine (1903).
- Featured Videos: William Friedkin interviews Fritz Lang (1974) + John Cage and John Cale perform on I’ve Got a Secret (1960s) + Kirlian photography was taken seriously when UCLA focused on parapsychology (1974) + Stephen Colbert talks jetpacks with Elon Musk.
- Recently Posted In NYC’s Craigslist: Let’s conjugate some verbs and then you twist my nuts + You probably should not be teaching beginners + We’re also raising money at Dickstarter.
- “Weird” Al Yankovic’s No. 1 record isn’t as big as the headlines suggest.
- “Swifty” Lazar practiced situational ethics in media deals.
- The Rev. Billy Graham was “discovered” by William Randolph Hearst.
- The Sharing Economy is ahead of us, legally and philosophically.
- Income and work may need to be consciously uncoupled.
- Obamacare is popular in Kentucky, except for the “Obama” part.
- Nick Bostrom considers the potential and pitfalls of superintelligence.
- Humans face doomsday scenarios. Which are most pressing?
- Brief as they are, Vines are riddled with product placement.
- Pierre Boulle never understood the popularity of the Planet of the Apes.
- Driverless cars will change America profoundly.
- Robocars are more robo than car.
- In 2035, driving will likely be very different.
- In 2050, will robots beat humans in soccer?
- Cheap service is great except if you’re providing the service.
- Silicon Valley has done great things, but there’s collateral damage.
- Drought-damaged California lawns are being painted green.
- Cheap, electric motorcycles are surging in China.
- Maria Bamford has been the nonpareil American stand-up for years.
- Perhaps we can consume our way to relative equality.
- Banning defensive shifts in baseball is a really bad idea.
- Chinese citizens mostly use smartphones to connect to the Internet.
- Dealing with awful people may have aided human revolution.
- Robots should (perhaps) be granted legal personhood.
- Smart shoes communicate directions by vibrating.
- A brief note from 1911 about a broken engagement.
- A brief note from 1910 about a million-candle power.
- A brief note from 1910 about a good movie.
- A brief note from 1910 about “Baby” Bliss.
- This week’s Afflictor keyphrase searches.