Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

"No I do not want to give you a blow job."

“No I do not want to give you a blow job.”

I’ll be your friend and you be my friend (Downtown)

It sucks out here. And it sucks worse when you have no friends for no good reason. Me: (Im)mature old fart; highly intelligent (or difficult to get along with); can be funny, depending; financially and physically pitiful; prone to depression; broke (very); sophisticated (look it up); ugly; fat; shrewish; parent. I smoke cigarettes. I drink beer. Interests include: Your car; poker; scrabble (3 minutes–I have ADD); ‘treasure hunting’; fishing (bring a wheel chair); metal detecting (bring a wheel chair); arts; antiques; collectibles; avid reader; coonhound owner; musical tastes very very eclectic and loved; writer; cook; (food when available); apolitical because it’s pointless but yeah I’d wear a hoodie and eat skittles for sure; yada yada.

You could be 18. You could be 79. Male. Female. Homo. Trans. Cripple. You could be a poor person. You could be a “Master of the Universe.” I love everybody and can talk to anybody. In turn you are also non-judgemental.

Just looking for friends–you know like someone to talk to and shit. 

Please include phone number.

No I do not want to give you a blow job.