“Paps Have Piss Bottles In Their Cars”

February 17, 2013 in Excerpts, Urban Studies | Permalink

Ah, paparazzi, those loathed, unsightly town criers, those quasimodos ringing the bells, those recyclers returning to us the dirty, empty bottles we continue attempting to drink from. They should be disappeared, shouldn’t they? But what would the publishing world and Hollywood and TV outlets do without them? What would we do without them? They’re just a symptom; we’re the disease.

Would they be looked upon differently if they had talent rather than just persistence? What was our celebrated Weegee, but a paparazzi of the dead and the dying? He also forced us to stare at our shame, because we just couldn’t look away.

A recently retired pap just did an Ask Me Anything on Reddit. A few exchanges follow.

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Question:

What is the biggest shot you missed because you had to go to the bathroom?

Answer:

HAHAHA, I really can’t think of any for peeing issues.Paps have piss bottles in their cars (usually empty Gatorade bottles that have a wide opening).I did miss the shot of Mackenzie Phillips getting arrested at LAX (no one got it) because I was shooting someone else at another terminal at the same time (that dude from one tree hill, can’t remember his name right now).

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Question:

Have you ever been assaulted by anyone you were taking pictures of?

Answer:

Yes, truly only once, though I was there for other assaults on colleagues/friends/enemies.It was Javier Bardem and he spat on my face and I swear I did nothing out of the ordinary (it was at LAX and I had a possible chance for a lawsuit but I didn’t press charges).Basically him and Penelope arrived to LAX (this is back 2009 I think) and I was the only photographer around, I used my 70-200mm lens which means I kept my distance (this is usually a sign of respect amongst paps/celeb communication, instead of the “fuck you im going right on your face with my flash camera”)

 I spoke Spanish to them (because I’m fluent) basically saying that they make a perfect couple and that I’m a huge fan (true as well). Everything was going fine and Penelope was smiling (Javier was looking down), Penelope went inside the limousine and Javier turned around and I thought he was going to shake my hand (many celebrities have before)….

…but instead he said “eres basura” and spat on my face, got on the limousine and closed the door. I saw Penelope in shock when he did this, I yelled back “HEY MAN! I’m just doing this gigging trying to pay for my student loans. (or something of that sort)”.

Their assistant (who I actually was friends with) apologized and said she couldn’t believe he did that. There was some video footage of it and several witnesses, but I let it go.

endnote, next couple times I saw him he was much nicer.

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Question:

How did you justify invading other people’s privacy and harassing them for profit?

Answer:

this is like asking a lawyer “how do you justify (basically) lying to get criminals out?” money dude.

Question:

I’ve never thought of it like that, I kind of understand the analogy, but defense lawyers uphold citizens rights to an attorney. They are criminals if they are convicted of the crimes they’re charged with, not during the trial. They’re defending the rights of citizens, not “getting criminals out.” You aren’t helping others exercise their rights by disrespecting their privacy. But I do understand the money aspect of it, and I appreciate the honest answer.

Answer:

thanks. it was also tough for me morally graduating from college (conflict studies minor) and telling my friends “I’m gonna go be a paparazzi” while most were either unemployed, teaching for america or continuing their studies.

I never really wanted it to do it longer than a year, but the economy was shit (still is) and having any job was good for me. I’m really really happy I am not doing it anymore though.

well, the lawyer argument got extended in an interesting way.

would it help if i said lobbyists instead of lawyers?

the point is that shitty job exists and people do them because the money is good.•