Donald Trump: Hypocrisy is a sham.

Perhaps it won’t end for Donald Trump the way it did for Gaddafi. Time will tell. Trump, who receives a lot of fan mail, feels that he can insult whomever he wants and never has to apologize for his boorish behavior. But others who say mean things about him need to beg his forgiveness. 

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If Sheena Monnin apologized for her mistake, as she should have, I would have treated her very nicely.

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Sheena Monin was a contestant in the Miss USA pageant who claimed that the contest was rigged. She was sued for defamation and lost her case. In all fairness, not even someone as dumb as Donald Trump would fix a contest like that. He knows that kind of behavior could get him into a lot of trouble. Of course, Donald Trump recently called a slightly more important competition–the U.S. Presidential election–a “sham” and a “disgusting injustice” when his candidate was defeated fair and square. He has never said he is sorry for defaming that contest.

But Donald Trump was right about the pageant: Sheena Monin should have apologized. In fact, a lot of people should tell Donald Trump they’re sorry.

Sal, Barber: My apologies for making you look like a turd blossom, Mr. Trump. I do it because I hate you.

Dottie, Retired Schoolteacher: I’m sorry I gave you passing grades, you toolbox, but I just couldn’t bear to look anymore at that cunt you call a face.

Dave, Animal Wrangler: I’m sorry I lined my bird’s cage with  your photo, but I didn’t want to get ostrich diarrhea on old newspapers.

Vincent, Exterminator: I deeply regret using your men’s cologne to kill roaches. My bad.

Tina, Biologist: I’m sorry I learned how to read, which has made me realize that your TV show, casinos and beauty pageants are all incredibly fucking stupid.

Dr. Benson, Obstetrician: I’m sorry you were ever born. I should have left you in your mother’s crack.