It’s Actually A Few Thousand Hits

Penn Jillette: A juggler or something.

I’m always overjoyed whenever I see Penn Jillette, but I soon realize that Andre the Giant has not, in fact, been reincarnated, and I return to sitting shiva.

Penn has written a new book, Every Day Is An Atheist Holiday!, which is being published to coincide with the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. This time he’s named names. Considering what a high-powered show-biz career Penn’s had, you know it’s going to be juicy. The following questions are sure, at last, to be answered: Which, if any, of the Flying Karamazov Brothers have had gonorrhea? Does Brother Theodore smell like cabbage or does cabbage smell like Brother Theodore? Is it true Al Goldstein broke his hip while falling off of Gloria Leonard at the Ben-Gurion Retirement Center? Wow, and that’s just the beginning! Randomly open this book to any page, begin reading and you’ll quickly suspect it was that quiet fuck Teller who had all the brilliant ideas.

Penn also spills about his faux TV boss, Donald Trump, a bigoted, orange-headed buffoon who hasn’t been told the truth about himself very often. Apparently, Trump is upset that some blogs repeatedly ridicule him. From the New York Daily News:

The magician calls Trump’s boardroom behavior “free-form rants in front of a captive audience,” where the billionaire would whine “about articles written about him and defend himself against charges made, as far as I could tell, by random bloggers with a few hundred hits. Attacks that could have no impact on his life at all. It sounded like this cat was Googling himself, being bugged by what was written, and then defending himself to people who were trying to improve their careers by playing a TV game with him.”•

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