“Pick Your Spots, Baby”

So, legendary TV comedian and all-around blowhard Milton Berle used to tell a serious anecdote about impregnating a woman he wasn’t married to, and the emotional fallout of the experience. He repeated it once in 1974 on Mike Douglas’ talk show when sharing the panel with a hugely wasted and gigglish Richard Pryor. The younger comic couldn’t supress his laughter during the maudlin tale, and Berle felt dissed. One of the greatest moments in the history of moments. At the 1:20 mark of this compilation of the bizarre.

The end of Berle’s story: He and the unnamed woman decided to have the baby. It was a boy. Berle and the mother kept his paternity a secret between them and never told the child or anyone else. The kid grew up to be a performer in show biz, and Berle aided his career but kept the secret.

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