Recently Posted On NYC’s Craigslist

"Guys who have enough money to randomly go to outer space."

thanks a lot asshole – you know who you are!

i fucking hate you. you make me angry. you ruined my life and now everything makes me angry. puppies make me angry. stupid hipster baristas piss me off. yoga makes me angry. people who wear leg warmers. people who wear arm warmers. facebook status updates. gluten-free labels. stores that don’t take $50 bills. atm’s that keep handing them out. vegetarians. vegans. people who don’t like fur. ugly people. fat people. skinny bitches. people who use bad grammar and make up words like refudiate. throwing up in my mouth a little and then having to swallow it. dropped calls on my iphone. waiting for the bus. paying for the bus. being ass grabbed on the bus. paying too much for cable. rainbows and fucking unicorns. children who at the age of 4 already feel entitled to give the world attitude. the asshole parents who make them like that. tim horton’s coffee. emails from nigerian princes and british estate lawyers. cel phone ringbacks. detox diets. thanksgiving. black friday. christmas. easter. valentine’s day. jesus. solar calculators. solar panels. saving planet earth. hippies. sorting my fucking garbage even though half the recycling still goes into landfill. guys who have enough money to randomly go to outer space. corn poo. tickle me elmo. endless voicemail options. the alarm clock. shitty take out. good take out. warm beer. creepy ass earwigs. god damn birds chirping in the morning. people who steal. and most of all these gorgeous awesome smelling tulips that were my favourite flower make me fucking angry!!!!!!! 

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