Decoder: Sarah Palin’s Recent Comments About Arizona’s Immigration Law And The Gulf Oil Spill

Sarah Palin: Spill, baby, spill. (Image by David Shankbone.)

Sarah Palin: We’re all Arizonans now.

Decoder: No wonder why it’s so fucking hot outside today. I was just thinking that it was like an Arizona desert out there. I’m sweating my balls off. I’ve got the ceiling fan going, but I’m probably going to have to turn on the A.C.

Sarah Palin: There has been a great deal of misinformation out there about Arizona’s effort to address the consequences of illegal immigration.

Decoder: I should know since I’ve been spreading a lot of that misinformation. It’s similar to when I claimed that I was the one who put a stop to the “Bridge to Nowhere” when I was Alaska Governor. That was complete bullshit.

Sarah Palin: The rest of the world is watching what’s going on in Arizona.

We're all sweating like Arizonans now. (Image by Tallguy1982.)

Decoder: Malta is fascinated and Andorra is transfixed. Seriously, I will not stop until I have completely marginalized and ruined the Republican Party. And there is seemingly no one in the GOP with the gumption to stand up to blather from me and Glenn Beck the way Obama stood up against the the drumbeat of war prior to the invasion of Iraq. That’s the Republican who could be an architect for rebuilding the party.

Sarah Palin: Government can and must play an appropriate role [in the Gulf oil disaster]. If a company was lax in its prevention practices, it must be held accountable. It is inexcusable for any oil company to not invest in preventative measures. They must be held accountable or the public will forever distrust the industry.

Decoder: Wouldn’t it make more sense if the government regulated the industry beforehand so they we could avoid disasters rather than holding them accountable afterwards? Oh, that’s right. I’ve spent the last couple of years screaming that government must deregulate all industries and labeling anyone who disagrees as a socialist.

Sarah Palin: I repeat the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard for the tragic consequences of oil spills….I continue to believe in it because increased domestic oil production will make us a more secure, prosperous, and peaceful nation.

Decoder: Actually, the idiotic slogan I used during the election was “drill, baby, drill.” I am trying to distance myself from that phrase in wake of the Gulf disaster because it makes me sound more foolish than ever. But the word “baby” has never seemed more appropriate.

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