Sarah Palin: Nobody gave us a Teleprompter this time around. I had to write my notes on my hand again.
Decoder: Every time I try to make an obviously intelligent person like Obama seem stupid, I end up revealing how dumb I am. Maybe I should realize that I’m in no position to question anyone else’s intelligence.
Sarah Palin: I couldn’t wait to get some of the McCain-Palin team back together again.
Decoder: Some of them but not most of them. Most of them thought I was unfit and unintelligent.
Sarah Palin: John McCain is leading the party of ideas.
Decoder: Like his idea that Republicans should no longer cooperate with Obama on any issue, even issues they actually agree on. That way the whole country can be spited.
Sarah Palin: We know violence isn’t the answer. When we talk about taking up our arms, we’re talking about our vote.
Decoder: I’ve purposely not made that clear in the past. I’ve said it in a way that sends a mixed message of gun violence to the crazier elements of the crowd.
Sarah Palin: When I talk about it’s not a time to retreat, it’s a time to reload, I was trying to inspire people to get involved in their local elections and these upcoming federal elections.
Decoder: I wasn’t actually encouraging gun violence; I just wanted it to sound that way.
Sarah Palin: [Don’t believe] this BS coming from the lamestream media.
Decoder: They accurately reported that I put rifle scope targets on a map of Democratic representatives on my Facebook page. They also dared to report facts about Tea Party members using racial and homophobic slurs and spitting on congresspersons they didn’t agree with.
Sarah Palin: This is just the beginning of our efforts to take back our country.
Decoder: We must take back our country from a non-white guy who’s worked really hard to educate himself and achieve. He dares to govern after being chosen by a majority of Americans in a free election.
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